by Michele | May 8, 2012 | Preparation Stage
It has come to my attention that I am not the “typical” boat wife. Apparently, a significantly larger percentage of men in the boating world would like to go cruising than their long-suffering wives… patiently rolling their eyes as the husband goes on again about the freedom of the open sea and other such nonsense as she sees it. Therefore, I have decided to take up my little soapbox today in the name of the crazy wives who actually think that the cruising life sounds like the best idea our husbands have ever come up with.
Let me start by saying that when Dan first brought up the idea a few years ago I actually laughed in his face. This was the most ridiculous idea he had ever come up with. We didn’t sail, I’m somewhat afraid of water, and we don’t even eat fish! No thank you. Also, I was enjoying our life and looking forward to a little family and the white picket fence; June Cleaver was my subconscious hero. In short, I just wasn’t ready yet for such a drastic dream.
Then a year ago, Dan starting looking into cruising again, more seriously this time. He brought the idea to me somewhat more cautiously optimistic than the first time, backing himself up with some realistic expectations. His enthusiasm caught my attention more than anything else. He let me know that he really wanted to go cruising but he needed me to make my own decision about it; he couldn’t let himself get any deeper without becoming emotionally committed to the dream. So I decided to do my own research and that I would make a real decision after our cruise to the Southern Caribbean, where we would be spending some time on smaller boats that would give me at least some idea of what sailing was about.
The first conclusion I came to was that living on a boat was definitely possible for us. (I know that sounds a little obvious, but it was a pretty big leap for a girl who had never been on a sailboat before.) Now I needed to decide if this was really what I wanted for me. Not because I loved my husband and wanted to make him happy, not because it would be a nice experience for my son, but because this was my dream. As I read and listened, a yearning started to build in my heart that was becoming my own. Finally, near the end of our cruise, I was standing on the top deck of our ship looking out at the huge moon reflecting off of the ocean waves and I knew: my life will not be complete until I see this scene from my own deck.
I want to encourage the wives out there, take your husband seriously when he brings you a dream that is in his heart. I believe that we find the person who was designed to unlock our deepest desires and greatest potential, but we are also the person who could crush that potential much more easily. Do you want to be the wife standing in the wings with a leash, or do you want to be a partner in a fantastic adventure?
Follow your dreams. Follow the Horizon.
by Michele | May 5, 2012 | Preparation Stage
I have a confession to make. I’m afraid of water. Growing up, my whole family was uncomfortable when in the water. I didn’t learn how to swim until I was eight years old, and I’m sure that Carter will be a better swimmer than me by the time he’s five. I don’t even like getting my face wet in the shower…yea, it’s pretty stupid I know.
A year ago, Dan started talking about getting our SCUBA certifications. Kyle and Becca, his brother and sister-in-law, had already gotten theirs and went diving in Mexico for their honeymoon and had really enjoyed it. The idea of scuba diving made me want to hyperventilate… which is somewhat ironic considering that I’ve willingly jumped out of a plane three times and I would have no problem doing it again. I just don’t like to be underwater. But I decided to go ahead and bite the bullet; if Becca could do it, then I could do it.
For the most part, our class was uneventful. I wasn’t even the worst one there! The only problem that I had was taking off my mask underwater and having to clear it again (see above statement about getting my face wet.) It was time for our certification dives at Haigh Quarry in Kankakee, Illinois. I wasn’t too worried, because I knew I could do everything. Unfortunately, I had decided to buy a new mask from our dive shop and hadn’t tested it yet. Bad idea. As soon as I would go under water, my mask would instantly start filling with water. I am ashamed to admit that I started freaking out, not quite hyperventilation, but definitely freaking out. I was done with this. Luckily, our instructor that day noticed my problem and traded masks with me so that I could complete my dives. Poor guy had to wear a pink mask all day.
I’m happy to report that while I’m not entirely cured of my fears of the water, I do really like scuba diving. Diving in the Caribbean was one of the most amazing things that I have experienced. For now, I’m happy to just go diving with Dan. I’m not interested in starting Divemaster training like he is until I am significantly more comfortable. However, there is something to be said for facing your fears. The confidence earned is definitely worth the cost.
by Michele | May 4, 2012 | Preparation Stage
 You think a giant mechanical shark was scary? Just wait til you have nightmares of monster waves eating your tiny sailboat in the Southern Ocean. |
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So recently, Dan and I found this fantastic sailing blog called
Windtraveler, written by a couple from Chicago who is living the dream of sailing their boat
Rasmus on the open seas. (Actually, they are currently back in Chicago for a pit stop while they have their baby girl, but that’s irrelevant to this particular post.) So anyway, I’ve been reading their blog from the beginning and found a post about the movie Deep Water about the Golden Globe solo circumnavigation race in 1969. Windtraveler highly recommended the movie as “gripping” and says “there is definitely a lesson to be learned from Donald Crowhurst, may he rest in peace.” Well, I’d say I learned about 2 main lessons from the movie:
1. Never, for any reason, allow your husband to sail the open ocean without you.
2. Ever.
I mean, seriously, I don’t think I have ever watched or heard or read of a story that was so devastatingly heart-breaking. I mean, you could not make up a story so tragic as the story of Donald Crowhurst. Not to beat down on Brittany from Windtraveler or anything, but you could have warned me that I am going to have separation anxiety from my husband for weeks now, clinging to him like a two year old who thinks his mommy is never going to come pick him up from day care. Why? you may ask. Well let me give you a little breakdown of the solo race around the world.
Of the nine contestants, 4 didn’t make it out of the Atlantic, 1 got just past the Cape of Good Hope and gave up after having 27 straight days of terrible weather, 1 got 1100 nautical miles from the end before sinking his boat, 1 decided he would rather leave his family in France and keep on going around the world*, 1 committed suicide after losing his mind, and 1 finished. Not a great outcome if you ask me.
The movie focused mostly on the experience of Donald Crowhurst. He was left in an absolutely tragic state of trying to decide between death by drowning and absolute financial and reputational ruin after his boat started taking on water in the beginning of the race, and in the end he chose both. Truly, though, the real lesson that I took from his story was this: there is nothing so tragic as losing your life because you are afraid of losing it. You have to face your problems head on, even if there is nothing scarier that you can think of doing, especially if you have someone you love who will face them with you. It is always better to stand with your family, rebuilding out of the rubble, than being alone in the end.
So there you go, maybe I did learn something from this terribly depressing movie. (But seriously, Dan is never going to do a solo circumnavigation now.)
*So I know a lot of people are inspired by the writing of
Bernard Moitessier, but couldn’t he have just gone back for his wife and then gone to Tahiti? I mean, really.
by Michele | Apr 28, 2012 | Preparation Stage
So why can't I go in again?
Carter is our smallest-in-stature, biggest-in-attitude crew member. I’ll refrain from any 2-going-on-20 cliches, but this kid definitely thinks he is running the show around here (and he might be right!) He loves all things “boy”- trucks, cars, trains, and of course boats a.k.a “buhts” to him. Since he was only about 2 months old, the best way to get Carter to relax has been to take him outside. He will be in a terrible tantrum mood, but as soon as you get him outside he will play peacefully for literally hours.
Carter not only has the love of the outdoors going for him, he is completely obsessed with water. Talk about a boy meant for the ocean. He’ll splash in anything he can find: pools, ponds, dog dishes, and (as a mother I am ashamed to admit) the occasional open toilet. Yuck. He will even pour out drops of juice on the floor just to rub them around on his hands. He LOVES water.
One of our biggest motivations for wanting to live on a sailboat and travel is to give our son the opportunity to grow up with an open mind. To experience humanity instead of being just a passive member of it. To learn by touch and feel instead of by being told. Carter may not want to live on a boat for the rest of his life, and maybe we won’t either, but that’s not our ultimate goal for him. We want him to know that anything is possible, no matter what his horizon is.
by Michele | Apr 20, 2012 | Preparation Stage
Sailing right were we are
Recently, Tillerman of Proper Course issued a “writing project” to complete his Top 10 list of best places to sail with one of your own. The challenge was open ended, the destination could be a favorite vacation spot, local secret, or anything in between. When I first read it, I thought “we haven’t really sailed anywhere too exciting” (though our first attempt was fairly exciting in itself even without an exotic destination.) But then I realized that I did have the answer to his question. What is the best sailing destination? It’s wherever your boat is floating right now.
Don’t get me wrong here, I’m sure that there are much preferable places to sail a boat than the Illinois River, or some little lake by where you live. But isn’t the point of sailing to just be on the water? Anywhere? To throw off the lines and feel the wind in your face, even if it isn’t tinged with sea salt? Is the joy of the water dependent on the type of sand beneath it? I certainly don’t think so.
We are just beginning our journey to start our lives as cruisers and we still have a long way to go. We’re never going to learn to sail unless we go sailing, and if that means getting our feet wet in the muddy river with a channel hardly wide enough for decent tacking so be it. Sure we’re looking forward to the white sand beaches and trade winds in the future, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t have some amazing days of sailing right where we are, enjoying the same sun setting below the distant horizon.
Those far off destinations might be fantastic, but you have to start wherever your boat is right now… you certainly won’t get there by sitting in front of a computer screen thinking about how nice it would be to be staring down at crystal clear waters in the Bahamas. White sand beaches, crystal clear water, and the trandwinds at your back beat a muddy river any day… just don’t forget that sailing in a muddy river beats sitting at home any day. Where’s the best place to go sailing? Right where you are.
Follow your dreams. Follow the Horizon.
We are normal (well ok, not so normal) people that have a dream to see the world and live life as it was meant to be. We both have successful careers in the healthcare industry, even in this terrible economy. We want to break free of the current cycle of trading time for dollars and dollars for more and more things we don't need. So, we have decided to forego the fruits of our economic success and "retire" well before we are 30 and set out to see what is over the Horizon.